Hi everyone! I’m not participating in Friday Five this week because the theme is Fitness Snapshots and I took zero of those this week. Seriously, an entire week without a single workout selfie. What is happening here? Well I’ll tell you what’s happening: RECOVERY. Between today and last Friday I’ve been through a ton of emotions and I just wanted to know that I was going to make it back into running again. This isn’t time to mess around with happy selfies here.
I went through a few stages of running withdrawal this week:
1. Wow, look at all this free time I have after work! Why did I care so much about running anyways?
2. Ugh I have no energy. And I’m tired. And stressed.
3. Get that Runner’s World magazine out of my face!!!!! (hides running shoes under the bed)
4. If I can’t run anymore I’ll probably die. My doctor wants me to die.
5. Why didn’t I run a marathon when I was healthy? I’ll never run one now!
6. DEAR GOD PLEASE LET ME RUN. Just 5 minutes. Pleeeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeee.
7. I miss Planet Fitness. I bet that treadmill in front of TV #5 misses me too.
8. Please don’t ask me about my trip to Utah again or I’m going to punch you in the face.
And it continued this way all week. Mostly alternating between sadness, fear, and anger. I tried to keep it under wraps at work, but I was clearly stressed and in pain. So before my manager left for the day on Friday (and before I got my MRI results), she sent me an email with this picture in it:
I thought it was hilarious because I’m terrible at science and basically didn’t even know what she was talking about. So I googled “proton” and got this:
A proton is a subatomic particle found in the nucleus of every atom. The particle has a positive electrical charge, equal and opposite to that of the electron. The number of protons in an element’s nucleus is called the atomic number. This number gives each element its unique identity.
So what I’m taking from that definition is that if I’m supposed to think like a proton, I’m supposed to be positive because it’s part of what makes me who I am. And that everything has a little bit of that positivity in it, which is something that I need to remember when I think about hard stuff that I’m going through. Also, this is why I’m not good at science or philosophy 🙂 But in all seriousness, it’s so nice to be reminded to stay positive every once in a while. Especially when I had to wait until Wednesday to go in for my official MRI reading with my doctor! He mentioned that there are some weird spots on my hips where he thinks that bones might start hitting each other in the future and suggested that I work on my running form to avoid any issues. He also mentioned stretching more as well as cross training. He didn’t have anything too scary to say to me and it was so nice to leave that office knowing that I have no intention of ever going back!
All week I’ve been trying to do things to keep myself positive and calm even when there are so many unknowns. A week of recovery is so scary when there’s only 5 weeks left until my race! I’m not going to recap my week until Monday, but I will spoil one thing: I ran on Thursday! It was only 32 minutes of run/walk at a 3:00 to 1:00 ratio, but it felt good. No pain before, during, or after. And for the rest of the night I had that lovely post-run feeling that I haven’t had in a long time. So it looks like I’m getting back on track with a little help from protons – and my new stability shoes!
How do you stay positive when you’re in recovery? And did you actually really know what a proton was without reading that definition?